Sunday, December 19, 2010

looking in another direction

These last 3 months have been very rocky.
People who trusted I have lost almost most of my faith.
I get questioned by folks who claim to love me.
I have been put in very awkward situations.
Most of my trust is gone.
I have invested in people & things.
Risked my lights getting shut off,
Water being turned off.
Withstood everything short of being physically slapped in the face.
Why do I keep bothering.
I have 10 people who mean the world to me...but I don't feel
I can be my full self anymore.
None feel my total pain.
All I can do is sigh with total frustration.
Looking in another direction to find total happiness.

P!nk - Raise Your Glass

A Man Without a World

Have you ever felt like,
you were a person
without a destination;
an individual
without a journey
a man without a world.

You come from a land
that  forgot you.
You go to a land
that rejects you.
Yet, you long for a land
that respects you.

You often ask yourself,
“who do I turn to?”
“Where do I run to?”
“When will they
appreciate me
for the man I am?”

“I don’t ask for much.
Just a little bit of compassion
and some reverence. “
However, you stand here
on your own
in the solitude of emptiness
realizing that
the only man
that will be there for you
is the one in the reflection
looking back at you.

affirmation of the week

~ I choose silence over losing self control, losing my temper or losing my dignity~

Monday, December 13, 2010

Show me Love too

Wow.
What kind of ego are you supporting on your shoulders.
I give you love
I give you support
I give you all the compliments you deserve.
So why is it, that you assume
that I know that the feelings are reciprocal?
You know,
I like to hear that I too am appreciated.
I like to hear what I am worth in your world.
Don't assume
because you mention it to others
that I am getting the same message.
I want you to know that at present
I am truly feeling unappreciated.
I see the appreciation you have shown others.
You even tell me day to day,
what others have done for you.
I guess you have no idea
how dejected I feel right now.
But, I guess I will just proceed with what I do
and hope that one day, you will see my worth.
And show a little gratitude
and appreciation for me and my work.
But for your sake,
It better not be
too little too late.

Thursday, November 18, 2010

NOW AVAILABLE

http://www.blurb.com/my/book/detail/1749792

If you are requesting a signed copy, us the link below
2 Faced

Us doesn't just mean U

I think long and hard
about our long conversations.
You often speak like we are one.
But I sit in silence at your inappropriate bahavior
and wonder why I put up with it.

Because the one, is only U
U see things that are solely about U
I think about things that includes US 2
U feel that the world is against U
I fell the world supports U
U only think about me ,when it has to do with U
I always think about U
"Us" is a word that though it doesn't have an "I"
doesn't mean it should be controlled by "U"


So remember, without me, there would be no U







.

Wednesday, November 17, 2010

Abandoned

Have you ever  emotionally been going thru something so painful...& you feel alone. Well the one person I confide in disappeared on me... Now I cry alone.

Tuesday, November 16, 2010

November is never the same

For many of you, November is a great time. It is a time to celebrate family. Thanksgiving is around the corner. Time to celebrate.


Well for many of you who have known me since childhood, November has not been that kind of month for me. You see I lost my mom 33 yrs ago this week. And to make it even more heart turning...I lost my dad 8 years ago this week.


I learned to cope w/it. But what made it a little easier dealing w/the loss of my mother was having my dad call me & just talk to me. You see he never use to through those ridiculous cliches at me about death when it came to my loss like..time heals all wounds or it will get easier to cope with. (NOTE TO ALL:DON'T TELL PEOPLE THIS WHEN THEY LOSE SOMEONE BECAUSE IT ISN'T TRUE)


The first Thanksgiving I had after mommy died, to many was so pitiful. But to Me at 9 was a treat. You see people were in our house everyday...& I needed air...So my dad & I went to the diner on Kingsbridge & Jerome Ave in the Bronx & had Thanksgiving dinner. & I really enjoyed it.


As I got older, especially after my dad died..I became a workaholic...Just so I can not wollow in the grief because the one person who would understand my loss was my dad & he was gone too. Having no siblings wasn't really an issue for me except when it came to this. Because I have had to handle the grief literally by myself. Yes family & friends say they understand.. But honestly, there is no constellation for a 9 year old girl losing her mother.


So..as I begrudgingly get through this week..I ask of you all to have some patience with me. don't take it personally if I am not as cheerful, or answering posts timely like I normally do.


This week is just a rough week...& I need to get thru it the way I need to get thru it...my way.

Thursday, November 11, 2010

trust

I was very trusting as a child.
I wanted people to like me.
I wanted a friend.
But the people who I put my trust in,
always seemed to let me down.

Now I am grown,
& I thought things were different.
I learned in the last 6 months
that all that was bullshit.

I just want you to know,
That I am watching you.
I know what you doing.
I know what you are saying
I know you think that everything you are doing
is all secret.

Don't you see I keep my friends close
and my enemies closer.
So watch your back
cuz I don't trust you.

Monday, November 08, 2010

changes for 2Faced

Well the book 2 Faced was a stuggle from day one. My plan was before producing the second book, was to go w/ a different publishing company. I was hoping that by the time I was ready to publish this book, I would have located an agent & a new company....but that was not the case.



I realized I had to self-publish yet again... And the company had upped their prices & upgraded not really to our benefits as the publishers & writers. I also had editting delays and las but not least, computer issues...I felt like the devil literally didn't want this second book to be made.



Also purchasing had gone down on art & book buying as well. The price for the first book was a price I couldn't see charging again...But I could not produce the same size for the cost of the last one...So that being said....to cut cost 30% I had to cut the size of the book 30% as well.



What was not cut was the content, integrity & quality of the poems. I was not going to skimp of that. NO WAY NO HOW....

I want to thank you all who have been very loyal & supportive of all the art & poetry things I do. Especially those who have consistently kept your word. I apologize for being delayed on this...My Oct 26th deadline was not met , & I should have made every attempt to make that happen.



Thank you for standing by me thru this.

Monday, November 01, 2010

Pre-order 2 Faced

Pre-order the book for $20.00(plus shipping) by Nov. 10
(online price$25)





Monday, October 04, 2010

The final Rant on this topic

I am a wife, a mother, a friend, a family member, an artist, an author, a teacher a mentor, an advocate, business partner to a few, & a business associate to many.


I have worked with many have personally developed some great relationships with people.


Many people think they know me...but only a select few actually do. Those are the ones who have been there w/me thru the trenches. The death of my parents, my graduation, my learning about life, the birth of my children, my wedding, my heart breaks, the creating of my art, the creating process of my book & my book signings, my breakdowns & upsets, my joys & triumphs.







My family & close friends mean the world to me. And though I have a few people in my life who some deem "questionable" ... I know what works for me & my life. If you are in my life, you are for a reason. If you have been eliminated, there is a reason for that too.


Many know me as easy going, but please do not mistake my kindness for weakness.


So for those who think they know me....ask ME first...Not someone else. And if you don't believe what you hear then that's on you. It's not meant for you to know then.

Please do not ask what this in reference to. And for God sake, please don't assume you know. It isn't whether you know where the nature of this is coming from, it is more for future reference.


I hope we have an understanding... thank you for allowing me to rant...







Peace.



It's been real!

Thursday, September 30, 2010

HEAR ME NOW!!!!

I am a wife, a mother, a friend, a family member, an artist, an author, a teacher a mentor, an advocate, business partner to a few, & a business associate to many.


I have worked with many & have personally developed some great relationships with people.


Many people think they know me...but only a select few actually do. Those are the ones who have been there w/me thru the trenches. The death of my parents, my graduation, my learning about life, the birth of my children, my wedding, my heart breaks, the creating of my art, the creating process of my book & my book signings, my breakdowns & upsets, my joys & triumphs.




My family & close friends mean the world to me. And though I have a few people in my life who some deem "questionable" ... I know what works for me & my life. If you are in my life, you are for a reason. If you have been eliminated, there is a reason for that too.


Many know me as easy going, but please do not mistake my kindness for weakness.


So for those who think they know me....ask ME first...Not someone else. And if you don't believe what you hear then that's on you. It's not meant for you to know then.




Please do not ask what this in reference to. And for God sake, please don't assume you know. It isn't whether you know where the nature of this is coming from, it is more for future reference.


I hope we have an understanding... thank you for allowing me to rant...




Peace.


It's been real!

Wednesday, September 29, 2010

The Vanity of the Storm

In quoting Carly Simon


“You’re so vain…I bet you think this song is about you”


Unlike the other songs, yes this one IS about you.


Frankly, your narcissistic and self indulgent behavior is draining


Do you really think that with all I have going on in my personal life


that I have time to really think about you all the time


AH NO!


I let you cry on my shoulder at your darkest hour


laughed with you (not at you) when it was fun & games






Now you find yourself reading between lines of the imaginary


ARE YOU KIDDING ME?


First I was annoyed and offended


Then I was just numb


Now I am indifferent






I sympathize with your pain


But understand that you’re pushing many away


Understand that though I forgive your confusion and misunderstanding


our friendship will never be the same






I am not a fan of accusations & assumption thrown my way


when I don’t deserve them


Know that you pushed the one person who had your ear


& was a true advocate for your plights


& know that I don’t wish you ill will


I wish you peace of mind


BE WELL



Monday, September 06, 2010

get focused


As much as I love helping people, I find my attention being distracted.  I have several things I am trying to accomplished & I have people (who I love) forgetting that like them I too have goals.  I am trying to finish something that is very important.  I have my regular work that I have to finish.  And these people just do not see that they are draining me.  They believe that another individual is causing the problem. But will not take any responsibility that they cause..

To get priorities in check, I will have to temporarily disconnect. I have stuff to do & I will get it done. With or with out your approval.

I am weary, but not defeated. I'm getting my tasks done....And note, if you are gonna waste my time w/your self centered nonsense...before you blame me or anyone else why you aren't on the right path.....look in the mirror & ask yourself why you think that the only one talent you are willing to use is the only thing that will help you be successful & YOU aren't willing to do more.

Tuesday, August 03, 2010

Art for Pitties: Artist #34: Diana Coltenback

Art for Pitties: Artist #34: Diana Coltenback: "Diana Coltenback pictured with one of her 3 Pit Bulls, Jake, was born and raised in Bronx, NY. Diana was an artist from an early age. As sh..."

Sunday, July 18, 2010

Mixed Signals

I lay alone awake in my bed


Thinking about that last thing that you said.


I try to get my thoughts together


about the conversation we had.


You know you mean the world to me.


But I am not sure if I am with you.


You tell me all the things I want to hear.


But is it all true?


Or are you feeding me a lot of bull.


When I look into your eyes I see the love.


But your actions tell me something else.


I am not sure where I stand with you.


You tell me you love me, you tell me you care.


But is this the truth, or is this the way


you manipulate me to get what you really want.


My heart is special. You need to see.


And I cannot allow you to crush it into dust.


So though I love you with all my heart,


you need to show me what you really feel,


and not the indifference that you have portrayed.

Wednesday, July 14, 2010

mouth

~when you have a big mouth....realize your tongue can slit your throat w/your last words~

Tuesday, July 13, 2010

Moving on with the book

Great things going on with the book .. finished shooting the book cover today.. Thank you Durga Garcia for the fantastic job.  Can't wait to see the final results.

Thank you to those who are diligently working on their part and meeting the deadlines required. Thank you those who submitted for the contest. Judges are almost finish adjudicating.

Couple of changes have been made.... but this will not effect the outcome of the book

Updates coming soon.

See a sneak preview of the make up for the cover below


www.PickUpWeMerge.com

Monday, July 12, 2010

Betrayal

What happens when the one person you trust in the whole wide world hurts you.  The one thing that they vowed they would never do to you ..they do.  The person who you laugh during the great times and they pick you up during the hard times. They swore to you practically on a stack of bibles that what was done to them would never in a million year be done to you by them.


I am angry, hurt and totally disconnected that I can't even show compassion for others right now. Sympathy for others I lack; the compassion is all about gone.


I refuse to approach it because I already know...like years ago, like last week, like yesterday , It will be told to me like I caused it...like it is all my fault.


The one person I had hoped that I would never be angry like this at....Thanks for the reality check asshole. I realize now that you aren't perfect and the only saviour I have. I find a way to get over this anger. But I know me; this one is going to take awhile

Friday, July 09, 2010

The redesign of the Muah shirt

Due to the fact Spreadshirts graphics were not the quality A.T.B. is accustom to,  they decided to custom design Afro Boy's Muah to the Ladies logo. We are happy to say the Alexie F is very pleased w/the results.

Wednesday, June 30, 2010

Sold my Soul





I was told to watch my back


But I didn't listen.


Seduced by what I wanted to hear


It was something in the voice


in the words


In the eyes so gentle


I lost myself.


Things seem so good at the time.


I said to myself over and over


It's too good to be true.


And sure enough


when my back was turned


Out popped the devil, in disguise.


He had your voice


spoke your words


and had your eyes


so gentle.


Nothing could have prepared


me for this awful truth.


I was horrified yes


but I was also hurt


that I allowed myself


to be the fool.


©2008 Copyright Trina Slade-Burks


All Rights Reserved

Wednesday, June 16, 2010

Eternia & Moss | At Last featuring Termanology & Reef The Lost Cauze | *...

39 today if the cards were played correctly

Today would have been Tupac Amaru Shakur 39th birthday. Love him or hate him this complexed Gemini was a true artist who like many of us(artists) was a tortured soul. I posted this mini dedication 5yrs ago that somes it up some what.


http://dizeimage.blogspot.com/2005/09/died-prophet-yet-slave.html

Wednesday, June 02, 2010

Support hands free communication

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HELP SAVE LIVES

INCREASE YOUR INCOME
ENHANCE YOUR ALREADY EXISTING BUSINESS


Attend Our Free Information Webinar to Learn How!




Monday, May 17, 2010

If you luv Prince, Lenny & Slash.......you better LOVE HENDRIX

Check out Alexie F's tribute to Jimmy


Raymond's art relisted

http://cgi.ebay.com/ws/eBayISAPI.dll?ViewItem&item=110534373919
My son Raymond relisted his piece of art....He reduced the $$$ amount to half..Please bid

Wednesday, May 05, 2010

It’s not you it’s me

It’s not you it’s me
A phrase that is so cliché but true.
I never could face truth
until it stared me back in the face.
I lived in denial for so long.

People come and go
for years I had to learn to accept that.
And the turmoil I go through
based on fear.
You can’t fight it for me.
I will have to do that alone.

But I hope that you understand
that you are not the cause of this.
It isn’t about you. It never was.
You need to live with the fact
that this is a battle I need fight alone.

Yes you offered to help.
And I truly appreciate it.
All I can ask of you is
when I get through this
tragic journey,
that you will be there
as the friend you always have been.
With the understanding that
I truly didn’t mean to wound your soul.

I had to do this because of my love
for you
and the love for myself.
I am confident
that I will get through it.
And it will be a journey worth taking.

Please don’t be angry with me.
Don’t try to understand me.
And please don’t judge me.
Just understand at this time for once
It’s got to be all about me.

Monday, May 03, 2010

Ann Norton Garden Museum Eco Art Exhibit

Enough already

You ever feel like when you going through something everyone feels the need to tell you or imply that you shouldn't feel that way.  But when others are going through similar stuff,  they turn it around and make you feel awful for trying to help them.

Too tired of this people..........really!!!!

Monday, April 12, 2010

How can you support creativity

Find out how you can support the following creative sources.

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Afro Boy
Radio Personality/Music & Art Collaborator
http://alexief.blogspot.com/


Collaboration/Collaboration Artists Online
http://collaborationartists.com/ Coming soon!
http://www.myspace.com/atbartists2
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Racial Competency Expertise for your organization or business


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Book of Poetry, Affirmations & Art
http://www.blurb.com/bookstore/detail/784633
Patronize the above businesses or simply make a donation




Friday, April 02, 2010

Nope, I’m not on your Shhhhh.....




Use to talk about you

all the time with my homegirls.

How cute you looked whenever I saw you.

That smile that makes the girls hearts beat fast.

and makes them flock to you

like flies to honey.

You love and long for that attention.

But baby that is something

I just can't give you.

I refuse to be part of your flock.

Waiting in line to shower you with

unlimited kisses, behind some other groupie.

I refuse to be one of the ones

constantly complimenting you.

Telling you how perfect you are

to this world.

You are something special

I will admit.

But you need to realize

unlike them

I am not on your shit.

And until you come to your senses

and realize that it ain't only about you

in this universe.

I will admire you from a distance.

And ponder what could be, but may not.

I will survive with or without you.

Because, in my world, I come first.

(c) 1983 Trina Slade

Wednesday, March 24, 2010

Support of my brotha'

Check out my dedication to my creative guru



Also please vote for Afro Boy in the 2 categories seen below


My site was nominated for Best Blog About Stuff!

My site was nominated for Best Pop Culture Blog!

Friday, March 12, 2010

That special something

There's something you possess



that is like no other.


I close my eyes and imagine


what it would be like.


Your scent in the air,


& your warm whispers


in my ear make


me quiver.


Somehow I can see you


standing in front of me


with that sly smirk.


and I


know what you are thinking.


Because


I am thinking the same thing.


I can feel your breath


on my neck


and hear your voice


in my head.


But when I open my eyes


I have to come to terms


that this was only a fantasy.


But even in a dream


you have


that special something


that is worth waiting for.

Wednesday, March 10, 2010

Still Bill

If you are an artist of any discipline, this documentary is well worth seeing

Contest of page 66 &68

If you want to be published in my next book , Ge a copy of this.  Enter the contest.  And see if you have what it takes.  You have the opportunity to be a published author.